I'd like to introduce everyone to the Yak-Dryer law. Yak, as in I made it up (it's my nickname). Dryer, as in washer/drier. But spelled funny.

The law states thus:

Contrary to popular (yet incorrect) belief, clothes driers (or is it dryers?) do NOT eat socks.... Well, not continuously. You put a load in, it eats ONE sock, only. This sock is not digested, but rather stored intact in a secret compartment which the machine grows after it is properly installed. (The people who install the machines do not know about this...) You take out your clothes, and voila! You are missing a sock!

But the next time you put your clothes in, the compartment is full... the machine is not capable of eating yet another sock. So, what can it do?

Well, it puts the sock BACK! You get your clothes, there is an extra sock in there, but you never think, "Hmmm... the machine returned my missing sock!" No!! Nay!! Never!! You assume, since you are human and humans tend not to be trustworthy (trust ONLY Yaks!), that the machine stole yet ANOTHER sock, when all it was really doing was returning the object it borrowed from you the week before.

The sick, pathetic, untrusting, BASTARDS! The lot of them! How could they be so cruel? So unfeeling? So.... evil?!

Well, you driers can take your new-found socks, and wear them straight down the path to hell, why don'tcha? A little extra warmth down below.... keep the blisters off your toes for a while.... sickos!

[I'm sorry... did I get carried away?]

© 2000, Michael Yanovich. www.mentalsnot.com