To the tune of Alanis Morisette's "One Hand In My Pocket."

I'm lost and I'm mapless,
I'm young and I'm diaper free.
I dumb and I'm stupid, too.
I have no experience,
But hire me, anyways.
I like sniffing Elmer's Glue.

And what it all boils down to
Is that everything is going to snot these days.
'Cuz I've got one hand in my nostril,
And the other one is scratching my kneecap.

I like watching TV
Cartoons, yeah, like Scooby Doo.
That Shaggy's a real trip.
I'm not into opera,
I'd much rather take a nap
Or watch ice cream melt and drip.

Cuz what is all amounts to
Is that life is to be taken quite ser'iously, friend.
Cuz you've got one wrist in your nostril
And the other hand is grabbing a napkin.

Harmonica Solo

© 2000, Michael Yanovich. www.mentalsnot.com