Carl and his wife Wendy have the distinction (?) of being the first married couple to each have a poem written about them on Mental Snot. Wendy's can be seen in "The Women and the Party" (she's the amazon). Carl just turned 40, so this was written for his roast.

Oh dear, oh me, oh my, oh no,
Dear Carl Perkin’s hit four-oh.
He’s an aging, empty, bony shell
Of what he was not long ago.

You can see it in his shoulders
As they sag with creaking sounds
And his knuckles, dragging lower
Fingers scraping on the ground.

You can hear it in his whiny joints
That creak and crack and groan.
And if you listen as he bends,
You’ll hear his aging back give out a moan.

And his hair is turning grayer…
Well, the little he has still.
And the Depends that he is wearing
Helps control his urine spill.

Yes, poor Carl’s getting older.
Turning forty, don’t that suck?
But at least now with Viagra
He can still enjoy a fuck.

© 2000, Michael Yanovich. www.mentalsnot.com